Three beers

July 28, 2010


HUMOUR
An Irishman moves into a tiny hamlet in County Kerry, walks into the pub and promptly orders three beers. The bartender raises his eyebrows, but serves the man three beers, which he drinks quietly at a table, alone.

An hour later, the man has finished the three beers and orders three more. This happens yet again. The next evening the man again orders and drinks three beers at a time, several times. Soon the entire town is whispering about the Man Who Orders Three Beers.

Finally, a week later, the bartender broaches the subject on behalf of the town. “I don’t mean to pry, but folks around here are wondering why you always order three beers?”

“‘Tis odd, isn’t it?” the man replies. “You see, I have two brothers, and one went to America, and the other to Australia. We promised each other that we would always order an extra two beers whenever we drank as a way of keeping up the family bond.”

The bartender and the whole town were pleased with this answer, and soon the Man Who Orders Three Beers became a local celebrity and source of pride to the hamlet, even to the extent that out-of-towners would come to watch him drink.

Then one day the man comes in and orders only two beers. The bartender pours them with a heavy heart. This continues for the rest of the evening. He orders only two beers. The word flies around town. Prayers are offered for the soul of one of the brothers. The next day, the bartender says to the man, “Folks around here, me first of all, want to offer condolences to you for the death of your brother. You know – the two beers and all.

The man ponders this for a moment, then replies, “You’ll be happy to hear that my two brothers are alive and well. It’s just that I, meself, have decided to give up drinking for Lent.”

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50 Common Interview Questions and Answers

REVIEW THESE TYPICAL INTERVIEW QUESTIONS AND THINK ABOUT HOU YOU WOULD ANSWER THEM. READ THE QUESTIONS LISTED; YOU WILL ALSO FIND SOME STRATEGY SUGGESTIONS WITH IT.

1. Tell me about yourself?

The most often asked question in interviews. You need to have a short statement prepared in your mind. Be careful that it does not sound rehearsed. Limit it to work related items unless instructed otherwise. Talk about things you have done and jobs you have held that relate to the position you are interviewing for. Start with the item farthest back and work upto the present.

2. Why did you leave your last job?

Stay positive regardless of the circumstances. Never refer to a major problem with Management and never speak ill of supervisors, co-workers or the organization. If you do, you will be the one looking bad. Keep smiling and talk about leaving for a positive reason such as an opportunity, a chance to do something special or other forward looking reasons.

3. What experience you have in this field?

Speak about specifics that relate to the position you are applying for. If you do not have specific experience, get as close as you can.

4. Do you consider yourself successful?

You should always answer yes and briefly explain why. A good explanation is that you have set goals, and you have met some and are on tract to achieve the others.

5. What do co-worked say about you?

Be prepared with a quote or two from co-workers. Either a specific statement oor a paraphrase will work. Jill Clark, a co-worker at Smith Company, always said I was the hardest worker she had everknown. It is a powerful as Jill having said at the interview herself.

6. What do you know about this organization?

This question is one reason to do some research on the organization before the interview. Find out where they have been and where they are going. What are the current issues and who are the major players.

7. What have you done to improve your knowledge in the last year?

Try to include improvement activities that relate to the job. A wide variety of activities scan be mentioned as positive self improvement. Have some good ones handy to mention.

8. Are you applying for other jobs?

Be honest but do not spend a lot of time in this area. Keep the focus on this job and what you can do for this organization. Anything else is a distraction.

9. why do you want to work for this organization?

This may take some thought and certainly should be based on the research you have done on the organization. Sincerity is extremely important here and will easily sensed, Relate it to your long term career goals.

10. Do you know anyone who works for us?

Be aware of the policy on relatives working for the orgasation. This can affect your answer even though they asked about friends not relatives. Be careful to mention a friend only if they are well thought of.

11. What is your expected salary?

A loaded question. A nasty little game that you will probably lose if you answer first. So do not answer it. Instead say something like That is a tough question. Can you tell me the range for this position. In most cases, the interviewer taken off guard will tell you. If not say that it can depend on the details of the job. Then give a wide range.

12. Are yu a team player?

You are of course a team player. Be sure to have examples ready. Specifics that show you often perform for the good of the team rather than for yourself are good evidence of your team attitude. Do not brag, just say it in a matter of fact tone. This is a keypoint.

13. How long would you expect to work for us if hired?

Specifics here are not good. Something like this should work: I would like it to be a long time. Or as long as we both feel I am doing a good job.

14. Have you ever had to fire anyone?

How did you feel ahout that? This is serious. Do not make light of it or in any away seem like you like to fire people. At the same time, you will do it when it is the right thing to do. When it comes to the organization versus the individual who has created a harmful situation, you will protect the organization. Remember firing is not the same as lay off or reduction in force.

15. What is your philosophy toward work?

The interviewer is not looking for a long or flowery dissertation here. Do you have strong feelings that the job gets done. Yes that is the type of answer that works best here. Short and positive, showing a benefit to the organization.

16. If you had enough money to retire right now, would you?

Yes if you would. But since you need to work, this is the type of work you prefer. Do not say yes if you do not mean it.

17. Have you ever been asked to leave a position?

If you have not, say no. If you have, be honest, brief and avoid saying negative things about the people or organization involved.

18. Explain how would be an asset to this organization?

You should be anxious for this question. It gives you a chance to highlight your best points as they relate to the position being discussed.

19. Why should we hire you?

Point out how your assets meet what the organization needs. Do not mention any other candidates to make a comparison.

20. Tell me about a suggestion you have made?

Have a good one ready. Be sure and use a suggestion that was accepted and was then considered successful. One related to the type of work applied for is a real plus.

21. What irritates you about co-workers?

This is a trap question. Think real hard but fail to comeup with anything that irritates you. A short statement that you seem to get along with folks is great.

22. What is your greatest strength?

Numerous answers are good, just stay positive. A few good examples: Your ability to prioritize, your problem-solving skills, your ability to work under pressure, your ability to focus on projects, your professional expertise, your leadership skills, your positive attitude.

23. Tell me about your dream job?

Stay away from a specific job. You cannot win. If you say the job you are contending for is it, you strain credibility. If you say another job is it, you plant the suspicion that you will be dissatisfied with this position if hired. The best is to stay genetic and say something like: A job where I love the work, like the people, can contribute and cannot wait to get to work.

24. Why do you think you would do well at this job?

Give several reasons and include skills, experience and interest.

25. What are you looking for in a job?

See answer No. 23.

26. What kind of person would you refuse to work with?

Do not be trivial. It would take disloyalty to the organization, violence or law breaking to get you to object. Minor objection will label you as whiner.

27. What is more important to you: the money or the work?

Money is always important, but the work is the most important. There is no better answer.

28. What would your previous supervisor say your strongest point is?

There are numerous good possibilities: Loyalty, Energy, Positive Attitude, Leadership, Team Player, Expertise, Initiative, Patience, Hardwork, Creativity, Problem Solver.

29. Tell me about a problem you had with a supervisor?

Biggest trap of all. This is a test to see if you will speak ill of your boss. If you fall for it and tell about a problem with a former boss, you may well below the interview right there. Stay positive and develop a poor memory about any trouble with a supervisor.

30. What has disappointed you about a job?

Do not get trivial or negative. Safe areas are few but can include: Not enough of a challenge. You were laid off in a reduction company did not win a contract, which would have given you more responsibility.

31. Tell me about your ability to work under pressure?

You may say that you thrive under certain type of pressure. Give an example that relates to the type of position applied for.

32. Do your skills match this job or another job more closely?

Probably this one. Do not give fuel to the suspicion that you may want another job more than this one.

33. What motivates you to do your best on the job?

This is a personal trait that only you can say, but good examples are: Challenge, Achievement, Recognition.

34. Are you willing to work overtime? Nights? Week ends?

This is upto you. Be totally honest.

35. How would you know you were successful on this job?

Several ways are good measures. You set high standards for yourself and meet them. Your outcomes are a success. Your boss tells you that you are successful.

36. Would you be willing to relocate if required?

You should be clear on this with your family prior to the interview if you think there is a chance it may come uip. Do not say yes just to get the job if the real answer is no. This can create a lot of problems later on in your career. Be honest at this point and save yourself future grief.

37. Are you willing to put the interests of the organization ahead of your own?

This is a straight loyalty and dedication question. Do not worry about the deep ethical and philosophical implications. Just say yes.

38. Describe your management style?

Try to avoid labels. Some of the more common labels like progressive, salesman or consensus can have several meanings or descriptions depending on which management expect you listen to. The situational style is safe, because it says you will manage according to the situation, instead of one size fits all.

39. What have you learned from mistakes on the job?

Here you have to come up with something or you strain credibility. Make it small, well intentioned mistake with a positive lesson learned. An example would be working too far ahead of colleagues on a project and thus throwing coordination off.

40. Do you have any blindspots?

Trick question. If you know about blind spots, they are no longer blind spots. Do not reveal any personal areas of concern here. Let them do their own discovery on your bad points. Do not hand it to them.

41. If you were hiring a person for this job, what would you look for?

Be careful to mention traits that you are needed and that you have.

42. Do you think you are overqualified for this position?

Regardless of your qualifications, state that you are very well qualified for the position.

43. How do you propose to compensate for your lack of experience?

First, if you have experience that the interviewer does not know about, bring that up; then point out (if true) that you are a hard working quick learner.

44. What qualities do you look for in a boss?

Be generic and positive, safe qualities are knowledgeable, sense of humour, fair loyal to subordinates and holder of high standards. All bosses think they have these traits.

45. Tell me about a time when you helped resolve a dispute?

Between otheres. Pick a specific incident. Concentrate on your problem solving technique and not the dispute you settled.

46. What position do you prefer on a team working on a project?

Be honest. If you are comfortable in different roles, point that out.

47. Describe your work ethic?

Emphasize benefits to the Organisation. Things like determination to get the job done and work hard but enjoy your work are good.

48. What has been your biggest professional disappointment?

Be sure that you refer to something that was beyond your control. Show acceptance and no negative feelings.

49. Tell me about the most fun you have had on the job?

Talk about having fun by accomplishing something for organization.

50. Do you have any questions for me?

Always have some questions prepared. Questions prepared where you will be an asset to the organisatation are good. How soon will be able to be productive? And what type of projects will I be able to assist on?

And finally best of luck hope you will be successful in the interview you are going to face in the coming days.

Never take someone for granted, hold every person close to your heart because you might wake up one day and realize that you have lost a diamond while you were too busy collecting stones. Remember this always in life.

Source : FUN email /website

business lawyers/

July 18, 2010

http://clientelevision.com/small-business/how-can-corporate-or-business-lawyer-help-entrepreneurs

Don’t stay late in office….

Read it when you have time. Very nice mail for people working late night.
Please don’t delete it without reading.

Neha opened his mail box and saw a new mail from new person

Hi Neha, I see you every night sitting in the office till very late.

Don’t you have friends? Don’t you feel like talking to your roommate?
You should not sit very late in the office. this is a genuine advice from me.

Thanks,
Rahul Mehra

After reading the mail, Neha was very angry on the sender. She simply deleted the mail and said to herself “who is he to give me any advice?”. She again got back to her work.

After that night, every night Rahul would keep sending her mails and Neha would simply delete them without even reading the content of the mail. But one fine night the subject line attracted her and she had to open the mail.

The subject line of the mail was “Hi Gorgeous”.

Hi Gorgeous,

Yes today you are looking very gorgeous in this red saree. I know you don’t read my mails as you don’t like the advices I give you.

So today I wont give you any advice, I will just say that I am love with you. You know you are very beautiful and if you take care of
yourself many men will fall in love with you.

I am sure someday you will also fall in love with me. And then we will go out for a date.

Oh before I end the mail I must tell you that the best thing about is that smile. Or is it those intense which needs some sleep at the moment.

Take care dear.
Love you.
Rahul Mehra.

After reading the mail she was shocked. A person she had never met, never seen, never spoke to was saying that he was in love with her. She started thinking was this always in his mind. How did he get her id? Where had he seen her? Many questions like this came in her mind. Finally she thought of giving a warning and replied to his mail.

Hi Rahul,

I don’t want to spoil your career but if you don’t stop sending me mails I will raise an ASHI against you.

Thanks and Regards,
Neha Jain

After this mail, the mails from Rahul stopped coming in Neha’s inbox. She thought that finally Rahul has got scared and wont be mailing her again.

After several nights, Neha was resting on her chair and her eyes closed. When she opened her eyes she saw Rahul’s mail in her mailbox.

Hi Gorgeous,

With your closed eyes you were dreaming about me, right? Oh sorry for not sending any mails in the last few days.

I was a little busy. I am sure you would have missed me a lot.

One more thing before I forget I want to say that I am not scared of ASHI.

An ASHI cant be a reason to stop loving you.

Love you.
Rahul Mehra

Neha was twisting her hair and putting them behind her ears. At that moment itself another mail came from Rahul,

Hi Gorgeous,

Now stop playing with your hair and leave the office. it is very late.

Love.
Rahul Mehra

Neha was shocked as to how did this person know what she was doing on her desk. She got up to check whether anyone was there in her floor but could
find only empty cubicles. She thought maybe he made a wild guess and decided to leave the office. before leaving she saw another mail from Rahul.

Hi Neha,

Searching for me??? You have started falling in love with me. J

Love you.

Rahul Mehra

Neha was shocked and scared to hell. She simply switched off her machine and ran outside the office. in the next few days she would not open any mails sent by Rahul. One night a mail with subject line “Don’t be scared of me” came to her mailbox. First she thought to ignore the mail then she thought lets see what has Rahul written this time.

Hi Neha,

Don’t be scared of me. I can say that you are scared of me because of the way you ran out from the office the last time you read my mail.

I know few minutes back you had gone to have coffee. You are thinking how I know this because I can feel you around me.

Only once you also start feeling me you will know that I am near to you.

Very near. Just sitting next to you.

I will wait for the night when you start having the same feelings for me.

Will always love you.

Rahul Mehra

Now Neha started thinking was Rahul really in love with her? What he was saying was it true? But how could he know so much about her? How could he

say what she was doing and what not? Neha thought lets give a try and see whether Rahul is always in love with her or not. From that night she also

started replying to his mail.

Hi Neha,

Do you feel bad if I call you gorgeous?

Love you.

Rahul Mehra

Neha’s reply:

Yes Rahul. I don’t like this word.

You can address me as Neha, isn’t it short and simple. and I love my name

a lot.

Thanks and Regards,

Neha Jain

Rahul’s reply:

Point noted Neha. But when I am happy, excited I would call you with some

special name at that time.

Tomorrow you have your certification so all the best for that.

Love you.

Rahul Mehra

Neha was again shocked as to how does he know about her certification. She

had never told him. She replied Rahul,

Who is the person who is giving you details about me? I had not told you

about my certification how do you know it?

Thanks and regards,

Neha Jain

Rahul replied back to her

I know it because I in front of you. Cant you see me? Cant you feel me

close to you?

I also know that after 3 days you have your appraisal. Now this you have

not told anyone. Just your PM knows about it.

Do you think your PM will give me all these details?

Love you.

Rahul Mehra

Neha not sure of the answer. She knew her PM would not have told Rahul all this but how did Rahul know so much about her was a mystery for her.

Finally she thought she will talk to her PM, Rohan.

Next day, she went to her PM’s desk.

“Hi Rohan. I wanted to ask you something”.

Rohan:- “Sure Neha. Are having any issues?”

Neha:- “No. actually I wanted to know about a person named Rahul Mehra.”

Rohan was shocked on hearing that name. PM:- “How did you come across this

name. has anyone told you about him?”

Neha:- “No one has said anything to me about him. Few days back he started

sending me e-mails. First I ignored but then he would give such details

which I did just few minutes back. He even knows my appraisal date.”

Rohan:- “Are you sure you got mails from Rahul Mehra only?”

Neha:- “Yes very much. But why do you looked shock?”

Rohan:- “Because Rahul Mehra died 2 years back. He use to sit at the same

place where you are sitting. How can a dead person send mails to you.”

Neha was shocked. She didn’t know how to react to this.

Rohan:- “If you don’t believe me then you can try finding his name in the

telephone directory. Maybe someone told you about him and because of work

stress you started imagining that he is sending you mails.”

Neha:- “I am not imagining anything. He has really send me a mail. I can

show you in my mailbox.”

Rohan:- “Okay Neha I believe you but still I think you should take a break

and go home.”

Neha was still in shock with the news she got from Rohan. She just did a search on telephone directory for a name with Rahul Mehra and page
Returned no records. She again checked the mail id and employee number details. She did a search many times that day by putting various combinations but the
Search page displayed the same message “No matches found for the given search criteria”. She could not believe that someone could hack the system and
send mails to her from an non-existing id. She attached the mails sent by Rahul and sent it to Rohan as a proof that she was not dreaming.

On seeing the attached mails even Rohan was in shock. He came to Neha’s desk.

Rohan:- “I think by mistake his id has not been deleted and someone who knows about it is playing with it.”

Neha:- “But I checked the details on telephone directory there are no records available for this id.”

Rohan:- “Talk to the CCD people and see what they have to say.”

She called up the CCD people. They took control over her system and looked at the mail sent by Rahul Mehra. The mail was sent from the from the same
computer which Neha was using. The time stamp at which the mails were sent Neha had logged in. Also there was no evidence that a remote desktop connection
was made or mail was sent through web mail. Even the CCD people were clueless as to how a mail has been sent from a non-existing id and from Neha’s system
itself.

There were no viruses or torjans or any other kind of threats on Neha’s system. Her anti-virus was upto date. The whole day was gone in finding a
loophole as to how did Neha get such a mail in her mailbox. Neha was tierd from the day’s happening and so she decided to leave early from the office that
day.

The next day when Neha came back, she saw a mail from Rahul Mehra. She didn’t know whether she should delete that mail or read that mail. She was
scared to open the mail. Somehow she gained some courage and opened the mail. The context of the mail was:-

Hi Neha,

Good to see that you left the office early tonight. I know Rohan told you about my death.

I was also a workaholic like you. I would sit late in the office, even when no one was around me.

I just being at office. I had no friends, no social life. Even on weekends I would use to come to office.

I missed all the fun in my life. Even my death happened at office while I was working.

My dead body was found by the house keeping guy and the security guard at the reception.

I took a lot of work stress which my conscious mind could not bear that day. I ignored all the health problems I was having.

And finally on that night (20. 10. 09, 11:24 PM) all these reasons became responsible for my death.

Now you know why I am not scared of ASHI.

But yes if I was alive then also I wont be scared of ASHI because I have really fallen in love with you but we cant be together until your death.

Now the choice is yours whether you will kill yourself on your own or whether I need to do the honors.

Waiting for your death. Love you always.
Rahul Mehra

Some love stories have ghost in it… 🙂

Source: http://www.stock-market-investors.com/stock-investment-risk/what-caused-the-current-financial-crisis.html

What Caused the Current Financial Crisis?
As you are all probably aware, the US is currently experiencing the biggest financial crisis after the Great Depression. And just like this past worldwide economic downturn, marked with massive bank failures and the stock market crash in 1929, today we witness the unforeseen bankruptcy of big, trusted banks and extreme market volatility.

But how did we get into this situation? This article will try to explain the original causes of the current US financial crisis and its effect on the world economy.

Preceding Factors Contributing to the Financial Crisis
When examining the causes for the financial crisis most people start directly with the real estate market (the place where the crisis really began) focusing on the subprime mortgages and unscrupulous lenders and casting the blame on the unsustainable real estate bubble which began to collapse in 2006.

Whereas this is true, it is not the whole story. The whole real estate bubble originated mainly as a response to the huge demand of financial assets. And since not many places can actually provide such assets, naturally in such situations speculative bubbles come on the stage and become part of the supply response of financial assets to the demand of such assets.

This was the case with the real estate bubble too and that was one of the main factors leading to the current financial crisis: the excess capital globally pushed an enormous amount of money into the US mortgage market thanks to the securitization and the fact that almost 80% of the US mortgage market is securitized.

The Problem with Securitization of Mortgages
Basically, securitization is a wonderful financial vehicle. Mortgages are pooled together as securities and sold to investors. Of course, as securities, they can also be resold. Securitization creates diversification and liquidity. It also “smoothes out” the idiosyncratic risk of defaulting or going bankrupt.

Despite the existing lack of clarity and transparency (investors did not fully understand these vehicles and after all, it was hard to get information which houses are included in the pool) regular conforming mortgage backed securities were considered very low risk and were sold to investors not only in the US but also around the world.

And then, the idea of generating higher returns originated. Mortgages were now offered to high risk borrowers too, at the cost of significantly higher mortgage rates. Those subprime mortgages were put in big pools of assets from which the so called “Mortgage Backed Securities” were created. Often, the mortgages were actually broken into pieces and grouped and packaged with other mortgage pieces of the same type. Thus, financial instruments and vehicles like SIV, CMO, CDO, MBS and etc. seemed like a great solution to the great demand of assets and the idea was that the yields on such securitized subprime mortgages would also be higher.

However, the problem with securitization stems from the fact that it does not provide protection against systematic risk. And unfortunately, such a systematic risk was also not priced into the subprime mortgage pools… not until things went wrong and subprime borrowers started defaulting on their mortgages.

Reasons behind the Large Scale of the Crisis
As we already noted, credit rating agencies didn’t take into account the possible systematic risk and blessed the apparently low risk securities with AAA rating. Pension funds, mutual funds, some money market funds, banks and investors from all over the world purchased such securities thinking that they are safe. And as for the riskier securities, they also had their clientele – the hedge funds. Thus, the markets absorbed enormous amounts of these securities.

Additionally, because investors considered such securities low risk, they leveraged them. In other words they invested more than they actually had capital for.

This liquidity and the fact that these instruments became so widely spread among investors of all types and sizes now stand behind the great scale of this financial crisis.

The Shock
The subprime lending increased the homeownership rate in the United States significantly and about 5 million people went from tenants to homeowners. As a result, rents went down and house prices went up till they reached unsustainable heights relative to rents.

However, in contrast to the stock market, in the real estate market when the asset prices rise more assets are created through construction. Between 2001 and 2007 the construction of new housing units exceeded significantly the new household formations and naturally this housing bubble could not grow up infinitely.

Thus, when the rise in housing prices stopped in 2006, inevitably many subprime borrowers had difficulty making their mortgage payments. The housing bubble and particularly the excesses of the subprime mortgage market became even more evident when many subprime mortgage lenders began declaring bankruptcy around March 2007. This problem started to gain crisis proportions and yet, the financial authorities and the Federal Reserve believed that it was an isolated phenomenon. Well, they were wrong.

Instead, in mid-2007, the losses in the subprime mortgage markets triggered surprising turmoil throughout the international financial system, given the presumed small size of the US subprime market compared to the global financial markets. The crisis spread with amazing speed to other markets and even to financial institutions that had no direct exposure to the subprime mortgage market.

Confidence in many financial institutions was shaken and the stock market witnessed systemic weakness across financial sectors. The share prices for large, small, and investment banks all significantly dropped and between July 2007 and March 2008, lost about a third of their value. What is more, banks stopped trusting other banks and interbank lending was disrupted.

March was marked with the demise of Bear Stearns, in July IndyMac Bank went into receivership, but the deepest fall of all was the bankruptcy of Lehman Brothers in September, 2008. The financial system was in cardiac arrest and after the events in September, 2008, the panic escalated and the crisis spread beyond the financial markets, now affecting directly the mainstream too.

Stock Market Cycles

July 16, 2010

Stock Market Cycles
Many investors that are new on the stock market get panicked when they hear that the market has dropped significantly. However, experienced stock investors are well aware that such falls are absolutely normal being part of the business cycle.

The overall trend of the market is as follows: prices rise (the market expands) over a period of time, whereas during this period there are small retreats. However, a point is reached at which the market becomes a little bit volatile.

After this point is reached, the prices start to fall, also known as sell-off, triggered by some event such as war, economic news and etc. A correction of this sell-off is expected and hoped but it may not come for days and even weeks.

This trend is not always observed, but this is the usual course of the economic cycle.

After the sell-off occurs, different corrections are applied to save the situations.

In March 2000, the so called Internet/Tech bubble that has started to inflate in the late 1990s burst leaving the NASDAQ with a one-half of its over-inflated value loss. It may not be able to recover in the decades to come.

Even though stocks have proven their long-term profitability, investors that use them should be aware that there are times of no or stagnant growth that may leave them with relative small returns. Holding stocks over the long-term requires you to be good at the trading game, otherwise, you should be ready to say goodbye to your money.

To be a successful investor you need two main things – the knowledge and the right trading platform.

Source: http://www.stock-market-investors.com/stock-investing-basics/stock-market-cycles.html