I hate my job day

September 16, 2011

When you have an
‘I Hate My Job day’

[Even if you’re retired, you sometimes have those days]

Try this out:

Stop at your pharmacy and go to the
thermometer section and purchase
a rectal thermometer made by
Johnson & Johnson.

Be very sure you get this brand.

When you get home, lock your
doors, draw the curtains and
disconnect the phone so
you will not be disturbed.

Change into very comfortable
clothing and sit in your favorite
chair. Open the package and
remove the thermometer.

Now, carefully place it on a table
or a surface so that it will not
become chipped or broken.
Now the fun part begins.

Take out the literature from
the box and read it carefully.

You will notice that in small
print there is this statement:

“Every Rectal Thermometer
made by Johnson & Johnson
is personally tested
and then sanitized.”
Now, close your eyes and repeat
out loud five times,’ I am so glad
I do not work in the thermometer
quality control department at
Johnson & Johnson.’

HAVE A NICE DAY; AND REMEMBER,
THERE IS ALWAYS

SOMEONE ELSE
WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A
PAIN IN THE BUTT THAN YOURS!

if you haven’t got a smile on your face
and laughter in your heart…

Maybe you should go and work
for Johnson and Johnson!

Enjoy life now – It has an expiration date!

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PAIN IN THE NECK could be from your computer

by Hege Crowton – Date: 2005-12-08 – Word Count: 688

Did you know that spending long hours at your computer can put your health at serious risk? Most people does not even consider that possibility, but t does, Working at a desk is extremely hard on your body, and I would like to share this with you so maybe you can avoid some of the most common health risks. One of the most common one is: NECK PAIN

Tips for NECK PAIN relief

Neck pain can really get irritating if it persists for long periods of time. The pain can get unbearable that’s why some people succumb to taking medications or pain relievers only to find out that they don’t do them any good. Let’s check out these simple and basic tips on how to treat and relieve you from neck pain.

1. Get spinal checkups regularly. It is very important to always keep your spine aligned. This can ensure the proper functioning of your neck and back, specifically the upper region. Your chiropractor will do spinal adjustments on you. This can decrease the stress on your thoracic and cervical spines. It also improves the communication between your brain and all parts of the body. As a result, a happier and healthier you.

2. Always be conscious of your posture. There are a lot of people who exhibit poor posture. When asked to stand up straight, they are unable to exude the proper posture anymore. This is because they have been used to that kind of posture and they are unaware of it already. Proper posture does not only involve the back, as lot may think. It also includes the neck. Poor posture, if not dealt with can give rise to neck pain as well.

3. Exercise regularly. Exercising does not only do good to the body’s muscular and cardiovascular system but to the skeletal system, too. For an efficient and effective program, you have to do at least three sessions a week for about forty minutes. In order to be more inspired to do these exercises, involve the whole family and your friends. It will benefit, not only yourself, but your loved ones as well.

4. Eat well and eat right. Naturally, you keep your body healthy by eating the right food at the right amount. When you observe proper diet and nutrition, your body will the given the appropriate energy or fuel that can increase your endurance and performance. It can also increase your body’s immune system to fight injuries and sickness. It can speep your recovery from injury and it also makes you feel good. If you are having a hard time eating right, you might as well consider taking up dietary supplements to cover up for vitamin and mineral deficiencies in your body.

5. Manage stress. There are a lot of techniques devised to relieve stress, if not to eliminate it totally. Usually, stress is carried on the upper back, the shoulders, and the neck. If you prefer, go to your nearest chiropractor to ask about these techniques and how to do them the right way.

6. Do not put pressure on your neck. For example, while using the telephone, do not use your neck and shoulders to hold it while you talk. In the office, always sit properly and keep your neck straight by working at eye level. You can unconsciously get neck pain during sleep because you are unaware of your movements. You can use a cervical pillow for this. You can also roll a towel and put it around the curve of your neck while you sleep. Never sleep on your stomach.

7. Stretch. It is always best to do stretching if possible. In the office or at home, you can take short breaks just to reduce the tension. Some massage won’t hurt either. It can decrease the tension not only on your shoulders but also on your neck.

Do not let yourself get weighed down by neck pain. If you are one of those people suffering from neck pain, do not fret. There are a lot of simple techniques and remedies you can get and use wherever you may be.

There are other risks as you sit in front of that computer but it would be to much to write about in this article, so if you would like to learn more about other risks such as:

Eye strain RSI (Repetitive Stress Syndrome) Carpal Tunnel Syndrome Constant Head Aches Dizziness Breathing Problems Difficulty Concentrating

You can learn all about this in the book: “The Painless PC”, which can be found at:

http://www.HealthCrow.com

Various studies have found that people with chronic pain actually smoke tobacco at a higher rate. Yet it is known that smoking negatively impacts pain management. Many that experience chronic back pain or neck pain are much more likely to be longtime tobacco smokers. All electronic cigarette brands deliver nicotine without tobacco. The user effectively quit tobacco with e cigarettes.
http://www.ergonomictimes.com/article.php?articleID=5&title=NeckPain

GIVING 103% AT WORK

June 25, 2011

GIVING 103% AT WORK

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100% Here’s to achieving 103%. Here’s a little
math that might prove helpful in the future!

What makes life 100%?

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

equals:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

then:
H A R D W O R K
8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98 % Only

K N O W L E D G E
11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96 % Only

But:
A T T I T U D E
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100 %

However:
B U L L * * * T
2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%

Teamwork

January 20, 2011


How Not To Get Caught Wearing A Bra At Work (And In Public)

By Hope Alexander

Believe it or not, some men want to wear a bra to work, (or anywhere in public, for that matter,) but don’t want to get caught doing it. Gadzooks! How are they to achieve such a goal. I have some tips for them, which I believe will help. I can only help they read this in time, before they go running out of the house in a red lace bra under a wet white t-shirt.

The tips below should help them in their endeavors, but please, if you are among this number, be aware that unless you are wearing a suit jacket, leather jacket, ski jacket or some kind of thick bulky overcoat, your brassiere may be detectable. If you’re wearing a bra and a t shirt and someone runs their hand over your back then yeah, they’ll probably feel the band.

But, for those of your coworkers who aren’t fondling your back all day and night, these tips may help. (There’s one that will foil those people too, its right at the end. Like the butler, who totally did it.)

Match Colors

If you don’t want your bra to be too obvious, match the color of the bra to the tone of your skin, and perhaps more importantly, to your shirt. That means no black brassieres under your white business shirt.

Plain Is Better

If your brassiere has a whole lotta lace and embroidery going on, the ripples and bumps can show through your shirt. Wear that plain beige brassiere on the days you just want to feel a bra against your skin.

Cover Up

Wear more than just a bra and a shirt. Wear a bra, a vest and a shirt, or preferably, a jersey that is somewhat thick. The more layers you have on, the less likely it is that you will get caught wearing your bra. This works best in winter, of course.

Get The Right Fit

A bra that fits properly is less likely to be seen than a bra which is cutting into your flesh. Avoid flesh bumps at all cost.

T Shirt Bras

T shirt bras were designed to be the original stealth bra. By wearing a white t shirt bra under, say a thick white vest, you should be virtually undetectable to 99% of the human population. (Except those bastards who keep lingeringly running your fingers over your upper back.)

And finally, for those SOB’s, the silver bullet…

Strap Up

Put your brassiere on, wrap some wide crepe tape around that puppy and go about your day. Don’t wind it too tight or you won’t be able to breathe, which could spoil your ability to enjoy your brassiere. If people touch you, they’ll feel the strapping. You can then claim some awesome sports / shark related injury.

That, I think, is all the advice I have for you today.

http://hubpages.com/hub/How-Not-To-Get-Caught-Wearing-A-Bra-At-Work-And-In-Public